Scottish Tumbr Photoset #9
I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling
"Your dress is too short."
Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration.
OH MYG OD
See the full footage here: Winston (kitty) takes care of Zeke (puppy)
"Zeke just got home from the vet — being allergic to certain grasses, he broke out in hives and they gave him steroid and benadryl shots. This is Winston, loving and taking care of him"
A cats purr vibrates at a frequency that promotes bone health and aids in healing. So the kitty is probably trying to purr him better.
If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
A question mark walks into a bar?
Two quotation marks “Walk into” a bar.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.
The bar was walked into by a passive voice.
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
THANKS FOR TEACHING ME THINGS THAT ENGLISH CLASS HAS FAILED TO ACKNOWLEDGE
hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue
BEST NIGHTBLOG POST EVER
"IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!" MEN SHOUT
"NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!" WOMEN REPLY
My favourite translator said that when she was an ambassador for Hungary she took all these Japanese politicians on a tour and she was trying to circumtranslate ‘merry go round’ cause she didn’t know the Japanese word for it by calling it a ‘horse tornado for children’ and they had no blessed idea what she was saying and she finally started running in circles going up and down and they go ‘ohhhhh, in Japan we call those ‘merry-go-rounds’”
Canadian Tumblr Post photoset #3
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More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married
It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve